| Worlds of Fake Fake Fake |
[14 Nov 2005|03:30pm] |
The time has come
To change
To ignite the smoldering beast
For truth to shine and burn the eyes of the misled
I'm am sick to death of the bullshit
It is rare that I find anything honest
If it was created by a man, the chances are close to none
On what or who can my trust rely?
When did everyone become so full of shit?
God must be dead
'Cause a lot of people are chasing something terribly wrong
In his name
In his name we march to kill our fellow man
In his name we say these untruthful things
In his name we spend our dollar on things we despise
In his name we create marketing schemes to dismantle humanity
In his name we misguide our youth
In his name we never change
I think it is about time the idiots stop saying they're doing their "deeds" in the name of God
That's if they want the rest of us to have any respect for Him
Their fabricated grey bearded man stroking his beard in his chair atop our cosmos
Our beautiful world of fake fake fake that fails to rest beneathe him
I am not saying I don't believe in God
But I sure as Hell don't believe in theirs. Shit....they don't even believe in their God....why would I?
I don't know how I got on this subject....
|
|
| Where? |
[08 Sep 2005|09:49pm] |
Where is your Motivation?
Do you even know what makes you happy? Are you aware that you are fully capable of committing those actions? You've done them before...what happened? Was the world suddenly scraped from your embrace, or are you simply too lazy to make the commute back? Are you honestly going to sit there and wonder what you could possibly do with your boredom? Those scarce hours remaining from your day. Are you really willing to waste the only time you have to make yourself happy?
God I hope that beer is good.
Cheeseburger
Video game
Cigerette
Cheap Hollywood flick
Car commercial
Paycheck
'Cause you'd be a fucking idiot if it wasn't!!
-Meanwhile your talents fade
RJA 9/8/05
|
|
| Departure |
[24 Aug 2005|12:43pm] |
|
Finally started another chapter:
Departure
It’s time to tear down the walls I’ve covered with things that make me feel safe. Time to abandon the things I don’t need anymore. Time to go through all of my things and decide which are important enough to bring along. Who am I? What is all of this stuff? Is all of this necessary? If I throw this away will I miss it? These are the questions that I’m sure everyone asks themselves when it comes time to pick up and move away from home. It is sad and exciting at the same time.
It was obvious that the things I cared most about were my creations. Whether they be drawing pasted to the my walls, poetry, old tapes, or photography. I once said: “Who are we beyond the things we construct”. Apparently I didn’t want to leave much of myself behind. I packed up almost all of my artwork. I remember thinking I should have some type of fire-proof box for all of my old poetry. Poetry saved up from the point I began writing it. In the beginning where I was a love-sick rhyming maniac. Full of cliché’s and cheesy lines for mice. Up until the present where I was finally on to something. It is interesting to read through the time-line of my documentation. I couldn’t leave this stuff behind.
I put a lot of my stuff in boxes and shipped it to Florida to arrive on a day when I should be there. Not everything could fit in my 1992 civic hatchback. Especially since I decided to lower the car at one point because I thought it looked cool. Too much weight and the car would be sitting right on it’s own wheels due to the shortened springs. I wasn’t sure where I would be going after school. If I would be back or not. I didn’t know what the fuck was going to happen. So I packed up a lot of things I didn’t need to. Hey, it was my first time moving away from home. Give me a break. And I come from a mother packrat. It takes time to fix problems your born with. At least I’m aware of it he he. I………just……….can’t………….let………….go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yikes.
The feeling of leaving everything you have ever known is a strange one. Seeing almost everything you own packed in to a car is also. I really didn’t say too many goodbyes. I may have been avoiding them. Or maybe I didn’t really feel like saying goodbye to a lot of people. I do recall one night before my departure where I let loose with some good friends of mine. We drove around in a car all night with a trunk full of artillery shells. Those are the big fireworks that are shot high in to the air and then explode with color to satisfy the eye. They are illegal in Utah. Fucking rebels, you got it. This was sometime close to Halloween so people still had carved pumpkins sitting on their porches. Their jagged scary faces looked like they were melting and were turning in to has-beens. Once razor sharp teeth now rounded off, black, and growing mold. How could their creators embarrass them like this. We had to take care of this problem.
We drove around all night blowing these ghouls up with these shells of chaos. Color and smoke burst at every stop we made. The adrenalin after every explosion was the reason we enjoyed it so much. We didn’t care who we were waking up, or that we were destroying their precious pumpkins and making a mess. We didn’t care about anything but the rush. We documented all of this with a video camera. We knew it would be funny to look back and see us running wild. It was a good night…and a goodbye to those group of friends.
I had to write my Mother a note before I drove away in my car. Her youngest son was moving away. She was still single and lonely. I felt horrible about leaving her there. But my time had come to leave the nest. I knew I would be missed but that it was what I had to do. I had wasted far too much time in Utah already.
For the first leg of my trip I would be alone. I would drive all the way to the Grand Canyon to meet up with my dad who would join me for the rest. It was a great drive. I had a lot of time to think. To wonder. To try to predict just where I was going and what would happen. Who knew? I sure as hell didn’t have a clue. All I knew is that the road was already winding. Around every corner was something new. Something I had never seen before. So much space. My home town was shrinking with every turn of my wheels. I was excited and contemplative. Confident that I had made the right decision.
|
|
| Loathe |
[24 Aug 2005|10:38am] |
Loathe
Insensitive we swim throughout a malnourished love
A spattered dove, __screams I don’t want it
Older than the itch, yet invaded by the grudge
Was it a test, __or a massacre?
Hey,
Why do we waste
Why do we waste all the precious time we’re saving for….
Why
Wait
Until the blood streams down our face
Lonely, bitter, coiled
If the snake unfolds, it’s to never trust again
It’s the consequential loathe
To leave this dismal world
When the heart is torn, from any pulse at all
Why
Waste
Acknowledged and it’s gone, diseased, delirium now known
Euphoric dove, __tries to deny it
Conquered as this loneliness devours any thought
Please…remove…these…..eyes
Let it stop here
Let it stop here
Let it stop……..
Why?
Wait
Until the blood streams down our face
Lonely, bitter, coiled
If the snake unfolds, it’s to never trust again
It’s the consequential loathe
To leave this dismal world
When the heart is torn from any pulse at all
|
|
| Zero |
[16 Aug 2005|06:24pm] |
Paced with stumbling steps
Around a foreign pool on our planet
Thinking from not what is considered
the original source of thought
Mysteria
These Pictures trapped in this skull
This electricity
Making this pen move with my muscles
Seeing my hand as an operating machine
With compact layers
Detailed valleys
Sunsets
Birds, and change
and contradictions
These things happen
Even at a level we consider minimal
Due to reference
Reference is everything
That causes misunderstanding
When we falsely assume
That there is a zero.
7/17/05
RJA
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
asichange's journal